Thursday, May 08, 2008


As parents, Mommies in particular, we tend to talk a bit differently than before children came into our worlds. I noticed this when I was pregnant and talking to a colleague who was holding her child. I asked the little girl how old she was and the mother responded for her daughter.

"We're four years old," she said.

My response, "Are we now?" Said with a smile, it was meant as a humorous observation not a mocking remark.

I now find myself making similar "we" statements on a regular basis without a second thought.

"We've been sick this week."

"We're growing so quickly."

"We love M&Ms."

And the truth of the matter is that after having a child we are never a singular individual again. Marriage makes us partners, but being a parent makes you an indivisible part of a unit. The moments you spend alone are almost nonexistent so it's honest to say that whatever happens to one is usually shared by another. It's more than that though, it's the fact that even when your child is not around they are constantly on your mind. Like a limb that is missing, you are acutely aware of it's absence.

The physical reminders of parenthood and that filial link will never disappear either. Emma has a fascination with bellybuttons and when she tells me, "No, that's mine!" I tell her it's mine, too because it is where we used to be connected. Her body will always hold that mark, just like every human will. As a mother, my body will always bear witness to the stretching and aching of holding another human being inside me, cradling the most precious creation I have known.

It's now been three years since she came into existence and it seems like forever that we have been "We."


Annie said...

right on, sister! we are never alone, are we?!?
as i read your post, i thought of myself and wondered 'what happened to our 'we'? then i realized that the 'we' will disappear when there is a second child. then you will be forced to reference of whom you are speaking. but hey, the more, the merrier. enjoy your 'we'!!!!
i enjoyed reading about it...

Ben & Erica said...

This blog to me was like reading a very fun little story! I totally relate to all that you said, and with the comment before mine I wonder if the "we" will continue. Or if I'll be referencing a specific child. I think the "we" will stick for a while yet! Even after the second, "we" will just pertain to three.