Monday, June 04, 2007

Jitters

I think I'm about to be sick. I just put in an application for a job.

And don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to work but I'm so nervous I think I could rauf. Utah Valley State College has an open recruitment for a part-time faculty in Economics and it's pretty much my dream job for this stage of my life. I've been putting off applying for it because I hate the idea of leaving Emma in someone else's care for so long (or at all!) but she's getting bigger and really seems to love playing or at least seeing other kids her age. That and if I work at all I think part-time is about all I can take being away from her. So I'm feeling pretty conflicted (not wanting to let her be in daycare) and still wanting to use the degree I worked so hard to obtain. I always said I'd look for a job when it felt right but I could find reasons to never apply so here goes. I'm only minimally qualified but let's hope they're desperate or I'm lucky or whatnot. I don't even know why I'm so freaked out, either way will not be earth shattering. *gulp*

I need to go for a walk.

5 comments:

Annie said...

lisa, dont worry about putting emma in daycare. just make sure you prepare her for it. go there, visit a few times, stay and play with her and the other kids for an hour each visit, then leave her for an hour the first time just as a trial, THEN take her for her first day alone. she'll be fine. i personally think its good for kids her age to go to daycare sometimes. it teaches them how to be social with other kids and other adults.
but do it before she's two, because then there's seperation issues that are harder to conquer.

Annie said...

oh yeah, and good luck with the job. whatever is right for you is what will happen. there are people "above" watching out for you, guiding you, and moving you in the direction you are meant to go in.

Ben & Erica said...

I say good luck too! I'm going out of my mind. Ben and I haven't done anything alone since Nick, and I don't know what to do. I'm so afraid to leave Nick with someone, because I don't know anyone here. It really sucks for me because I can't do anything. How do you go about a babysitter??? Hope the job goes well!!!!!

Ben & Erica said...

hey do you have an e-mail address??? If so send it to me and I can send you pics and e-mails and stuff!

Shannon said...

I'm so happy that you are getting ready to work again. And don't worry about Emmma, she'll be fine. It's good for her to get out and play with other kids so she doesn't create her whole world around staying at home. Adventure is something you're never too young for. And it'll be great for her to get to play with other kids. Hope you get the job and get to apply all that hard work you've done for your degree!!